Dreams

I don't dream often, maybe once a year. 

Years ago I had a dream that my family was killed by soldiers.   Not the family I have now, but another family, another house.  I think that I was Jewish and my family at that time was killed by Nazis.

Just recently I dreamed about my granddaughter who died when my daughter was 12 weeks pregnant.  In the dream I lost a tiny baby girl, then when my daughter went for her first somagram, the baby was already dead.

One dream that puzzles me is a dream that I was a bright light over a cemetary in the holy land.  There were no markers, just a rocky hillside and some spindly bushes, I don't know how I knew it was a cemetary. There was no sound but I could feel peaceful flute music.  It was so warm and peaceful that I just wanted to stay there forever.

Any ideas on what this might mean?  I believe in reincarnation and a palm reader once told me that I was important in 2 or 3 of my past lives.

I would appreciate any input.

Thank you,

Lesa 

Maybe I'm just overly sensitive.  I'm a member on another list and one of the members, an older member posted an 'observation' that hurt my feelings.  I would never say such to her as it would cause negativity in the group but I feel the need to say SOMETHING just to get it off my chest.

Said member seems resentful of new members (this includes me) and wishes for the 'good old days' when it was just select members.  I didn't realize that I was hijacking her group, she was one of the first to welcome me and I thought we had alot in common.  I admired her and kinda thought we we're friends.  She told me I would fit right in, so I jumped right in.  I was feeling all at home and loved and then found out that I'm just a newbie, outside of their circle.  It really shattered my innocence.  I've spent my whole life as an outcast and thought I had finally found my tribe.

Maybe she's didn't mean it that way, maybe she just misses her old friends, but don't we all?  Life goes on and things change.  Whats wrong with new friends?  That person you disregard might have been your new favorite person.  There had to be a first meeting for everyone you know.

She went on to name things older members had done together, before the newbies.  She doesn't feel it's her home anymore.  Like their magic was stronger before.  Could I be treated more like an intrusion?  Am I wrong to feel this way?  I've always felt left out, so maybe I'm taking this too personally, I don't know.       

I suffer from depression and have a tendency to heart, maybe it's just me.  I would appreciate input if anyone has any.

Thank you.

Greetings all,

I am a 44 year old mother of three, grandmother of one and an eclectic pagan from Athens, Al.  I'm housebound and bored and looking for friends. I've lived here for about 1 year and haven't met any yet.  I like to read, sew, make stuff and fix broken things.  I'd love to get out more but I have COPD and it keeps me inside most of the time.  I'd rather be playing in the woods.       

I practice candle and herbal magick and like to fire up the cauldron every chance I get.  I'm still learning about the craft and spend alot of time on the computer.

Enough about me, let me hear from you.

Peace to all,

Lesa